Back in control. It takes what it takes to get the lesson. No one can tell you to do it differently- well they can try- but we all have to make our own journey.
I am not through the wilderness of dating by a long shot but I am learning to navigate a bit better.
I saw him this week- the Dr. He is definitely not a nice guy- but I already knew that. I just didn't want to know it. I'll spare you the details but suffice it to say we had a really good time together for a few days this week. I had hoped for a call or a text from him but got nothing and after spending some time rationalizing his behavior, making excuses for him and second guessing myself, it occurred to me, it has nothing to do with him. It is up to me, if I am wasting time wondering what he is thinking or waiting for the an inkling of attention from him then it is on me. I suddenly felt empowered. I don't have to wait for him to make contact- I can assert myself. So I wrote the text- it took me a few minutes of processing the possible outcomes -and then I sent it. I said, "I'm done. You can lose my # now. " His response a couple hours later was total confirmation of my decision. He said, "Okey dokey." I have to laugh. He just didn't say "Ok." He said "Okey dokey" which was a bit insulting -but we are not dealing with a nice guy.
I feel strong and confident right now and this isn't just fluff. It is a powerful feeling not waiting for someone to take care of me. I can take care of myself. I did good.
